Jhayography

I’m on the verge of tears…

Been single for around 3 years now. And I can’t help but reflect how I’m alone again this Valentine’s Day. People are single for different reasons, but all reasons deserve respect.

My way of life doesn’t allow me to commit into a relationship that is more stable than flirting. My love for service always comes first. This is difficult to understand. Well, how can I expect someone to understand me if there are even times I cannot understand myself. Yep. I’m fcked up. Maybe I deserve to be alone. Or maybe I deserve to be happy alone.

These thoughts came crashing in like big waves while I was aboard a fastcraft, feeling cozy with the jeans mom recently gave me, with my airpods on, listening to Manila Grey’s Silver Skies which I’ve been in LSS for days. I just checked my concert ticket which costs more than my monthly allowance when I was a student. Wow things have changed. I couldn’t imagine watching  a concert alone, but now I don’t mind. I’m just so excited to watch the performance of my favorite bands that influenced me.

Since the day we broke up, I’ve been going places, meeting people, hearing stories and telling them. Then I realized how blessed I am to be this happy, free from dependence to romantic relationship. I never thought I could live my life in absolute freedom: Working on my dreams, chasing my passion, and doing things I love to do — on my own. I know people who are married and in a relationship but are unhappy. At this point, I’m sure I’m happier than them. I know because I’ve been there.

So If you see me eating alone or doing things on my own, please don’t feel pity for me. I’m totally fine. Be pity on yourself for thinking that being alone is equal to being lonely. What makes us feel lonely is to be in the company of wrong people.

For singles out there: Take your time and do what you’ve been dreaming of. Treat yourself. Dine out and indulge into your favorite food, watch your favorite movie in the cinema, and book that cheap tour in a destination you’ve been dying to visit. Your happiness is more important than what the society expect of you. Never settle for less than what you deserve.

Get a relationship when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. You can never be happy in a relationship if you’re not happy with yourself because you cannot give what you don’t have. Love yourself genuinely before trying so hard to love others. Work on growing yourself into a person who deserves that girl/boy of your dreams. You are stronger and more than what you think!

I’m on the verge of tears, not because I’m alone, but because I made it through 3 years without relying my happiness to anyone. I’m celebrating this Valentine’s Day with so much love from myself, my family, my friends, people I work with, and the universe.

You see? This day is not only meant for boyfriends and girlfriends. Don’t let this day pass by without affirming your love to yourself. Fall in love with YOU and with what you are capable of doing in the world.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the world’s happiest single! ❤️